We're perilously close to Doctor Who day and I'm already preparing my sofa and snacks for the big event. To get you through the final few hours, here are numbers 49-25 in my countdown.
Tread carefully - here be spoilers.
49. The Time of the Doctor
(Christmas 2013)
Excuse the negativity of this opening sentence but it must be said, this is the messiest of the regeneration episodes. While Eccleston's demise happened organically at the end of a thrilling two parter and Tennant's was the climax of a four special build up, Smith's seemed a bit rushed and, dare I say it, underwhelming. It felt as if the story had been written around all the untied plot threads that Moffat had been weaving in over Smith's reign but somehow, it just wasn't rewarding. It was a struggle for even obsessively repetitive viewers like me to keep up with the Church of the Papal Mainframe becoming the Church of the Silence and Trenzalore being the place where the Doctor would die and 'Doctor Who?' being the first question. Any first time viewers tuning in must've thought they were having a turkey and eggnog induced trip. There was a rushed explanation about the War Doctor and Ten's faux regeneration counting as two of the Doctor's lives but no mention of Eleven using some of his regeneration energy to fix River's arm in The Angels Take Manhattan. Yet despite all this, The Time of the Doctor is, of course, still a regeneration episode and it's saved from being a few places lower by Smith's final scene. I love that the regenerations have become as much a way for the actor to say goodbye as for the character, with Matt Smith's final speech being all about 'keeping moving' and 'remembering when he was the Doctor'. His hallucination of Amy, 'the first face his face saw' was beautifully poignant, as was the symbolic removal of his bow-tie. The story itself may have been messy but it was still a teary salute for number eleven.
48. The Name of the Doctor
(Series 7: Part 2, Episode 8)
This on the other hand, was a much more successful attempt at tying together a bunch of loose threads, and although it may have felt like a 45 minute trailer for the 50th anniversary special, that's no bad thing (see The Optimist's love for trailers here). I've always loved it when they mash up bits of old episodes with new ones or show previous Doctors, so Clara falling through Eleven's timeline and saving some of his past incarnations was very cool, especially when she urged the first Doctor to choose his beloved TARDIS "the navigation system's knackered but you'll have way more fun".
47. Night Terrors
(Series 6, Episode 9)
Now, I really like this episode. I like the supporting characters, Alex and little George (whose acting breaks my heart.) I like the scary doll's house thing, I like the fact that it is all about fears, I like the creepy nursery rhyme. I don't so much like the fact that the "monsters" are defeated through the power of fatherly love. Still, I'm willing to overlook it.
46. The Runaway Bride
(Christmas 2006)
Now, giant insects don't have an overwhelmingly positive track record on Doctor Who (see The Unicorn and the Wasp and Kill the Moon) and let's be honest, a giant, talking spider is slightly too ridiculous for those of us over the age of nine to appreciate. But as ever with Doctor Who, it's not really about the monster. It's about the Doctor, desolate after the loss of Rose callously committing genocide and being pulled back from the brink by Donna. It's also a load of fun - the TARDIS chasing a taxi down the motorway, wedding guests being attacked by exploding Christmas tree decorations. It's exactly what you want to watch on Christmas day.
45. Voyage of the Damned
(Christmas 2007)
Another Christmas special and this one's just bonkers isn't it! Whoever thought they'd see Kylie Minogue running around a flying Titanic replica with a little red bloke that looks like a conker? It was the same kind of mad cap fun that The Runaway Bride gave us, but with a more believable threat - the starship Titanic on a collision course with Earth so the Doctor must climb through the wreckage to save humanity. Special mention goes to Bernard Cribbins, at this point no more than a newspaper seller and Russell Tovey in a memorable guest role as Midshipman Alonso Frame (bring him back writers, he was brilliant.) Of course, I can't not mention the horrendously cheesy kiss between Astrid and the Doctor. Don't be misled by my use of the word "horrendously" secretly, I love it.
44. A Christmas Carol
(Christmas 2010)
Three Christmas eps in a row!! This one was basically a love story and who doesn't want their heart to be warmed on Christmas day? It was also a story of loss, something Doctor Who's always dealt with beautifully. I've already said a song is a pretty cheesy way to kill a monster, allow me to completely disagree with myself. In this case, it totally worked. Partly because the song didn't actually kill the shark in question, it restored it to a fog belt in the sky and partly because it was just so gorgeous that it was impossible not to be swept up in it.
43. Let's Kill Hitler
(Series 6, Episode 8)
This was a really strong episode in parts, if a victim of its own complexity in others. The Tesselecta's mission to take revenge on war criminals is a nicely grown-up flourish and when it transformed itself into Amy's image, it was a nifty way for Ste-Mo to give us a lot of shocking information in one gulp. The ending in which River gave up her remaining regenerations to save the Doctor was poignant and more importantly, believable. But frankly, if this entire episode was one big excuse for The Doctor to utter the line "Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard" it still works for me.
42. 42
(Series 3, Episode 7)
And at number 42 ... oh, what a coincidence! People seem to confuse better production values with more grown up episodes and so the two most recent eras, namely Smith's and Capaldi's are often perceived to be more "adult" than RTDs but that's wrong. His era was littered with very un-Who-y episodes like this one. Taking place in realtime, 42 was tense, claustrophobic and pleasingly simple. The crew being picked off one by one added an element of horror. Yes the idea that a sun could have feelings was a bit hard to swallow but that didn't really matter, the threat still felt real and Martha, in her capsule, slowly drifting away from the Doctor was brilliantly acted on both sides.
41. The Time of Angels/ Flesh and Stone
Series 5, Episodes 4 and 5)
The return of the weeping angels called for a blockbuster of an episode and in that respect, this two-parter more than delivered. Not as neat as blink had been, suddenly the Angels could actually kill you, rather than just send you back in time, but it still delivered some spine-tingly moments. Amy rubbing her eye and sand pouring out of it and the angels actually moving unimpeded were fantastic visual moments. The Angels using the disembodied voice of one of the soldiers to communicate was sufficiently creepy and there was a fantastic cliffhanger at the end of the first part. In the second part, the revelation that River had been imprisoned for killing "the best man she ever knew" sent chills right through me and her goodbye had plenty of 'tude. We'll just skip over the last bit in Amy's bedroom.
40. Tooth and Claw
(Series 2, Episode 2)
I saw a post on Buzzfeed recently where they ranked animated Disney films. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh was criminally low down on the list but the writer pointed out that it probably only ranks higher for people who grew up with it and for whom it holds special memories. I think that's the case for the next two entries. This just feels like such a familiar episode to me. It's hilarious that at the time I thought David Tennant was putting on a fake Scottish accent, I laughed at him because it sounded so unconvincing! An ageing Queen Victoria is a fantastic historical figure to work an episode around and a werewolf is one of few monsters memorable enough to go up against her. It's eventual mercy killing was neatly articulated by the line "You're seventy percent water but you can still drown" as it was engulfed by moonlight. Beautiful.
39. School Reunion
(Series 2, Episode 3)
Aw.
This is another one of those episodes that's not really about the monsters, though the image of the Krillitane's rampaging around a school is great and using the kids to help bring them down is even better. The bits that make this episode so lovable, especially for those of us who saw it first time around, are the Doctor's companions old and new. His elation at being reunited with Sarah-Jane Smith in the staffroom and her dawning realisation that it was him once she'd seen the TARDIS were just joyful and must've been even more special for viewers of the old series. Another highlight is that conversation the Doctor has with Rose in the cafe, where he harshly explains to her that they will not always be together. "You wither and you die ... you can spend the rest of your life with me but I can't spend the rest of mine with you." Break it to her gently Doc. In the final scene, the Doctor's goodbye to Sarah Jane is just perfect and so much more poignant now. Just sit and look at the picture above for a few seconds, isn't it sad?
38. The Sound of Drums / Last of the Timelords
(Series 3, Episodes 12 and 13)
Maybe Russell T Davies believed that 'Voodoo Child' by Rogue Traders would go on to become a classic and wouldn't age this episode, maybe he just decided that the master should have terrible taste in music. There is something psychotic about destroying the world to such an awful song. Elsewhere, these episodes were a shining moment for Martha Jones, whose crusade across Earth helped save the Doctor, and again, David Tennant was exceptional as he pleaded with the Master to regenerate so he wouldn't be the last Timelord left. This episode will always hold a special place in my heart as I had to analyse it for my A-level media exam. Never in the history of education has anyone been more excited to start an exam paper.
37. The Angels Take Manhattan
(Series 7: Part 1, Episode 5)
Another return for the weeping angels, and this time, their ability to send people back to the past was restored. It's a fantastic idea for the characters to read what's about to happen to them in a book, a timey wimey narrative device like that brings a literal meaning to the term 'spoilers'. Speaking of spoilers, River Song was on dark form, secretly breaking her own wrist to escape the clutches of an Angel, allowing her to convince the Doctor that everything was ok. Of course, this was Amy and Rory's goodbye episode and they went out together as they should. Their pre-death jump off a building was melodramatic but romantic, and made their actual, more subtle 'deaths' much more poignant.
36. The Idiot's Lantern
(Series 2, Episode 7)
Oh Mark Gatiss you're clever. Writing a story where TV sets are swallowing people while your viewers watch ... on TV, is so twisted! And let's face it, there are few things scarier than those emotionless black and white TV presenters from the 50s. There's a surprisingly gritty under-story of a controlling husband running parallel to the sci-fi stuff in this episode - his wife kicking him out of the house seems an even bigger victory than the Doctor halting The Wire's plans by climbing to the top of Alexandra Palace. I'd like to point out that this episode is the reason I chose to wear rubber soled shoes to bed during a recent lightning storm, much to the derision of my housemates. The standout moment though is Rose telling off Mr Connolly for hanging his Union flag upside down "shame on you!"
35. The Christmas Invasion
(Christmas 2005)
I think this episode is better now. At the time, we were all too hung up on whether Davey T was going to match up to Ecclestone to enjoy it but knowing what we know now makes it easier to see The Christmas Invasion for what it really is - a damn funny episode of Doctor Who. I'd like to take this opportunity to praise the show for its sterling work in ginger relations. "Am I ... ginger?" The Doctor asked Rose, breaking my heart that my favourite show was mocking my people. "No, you're just sort of brown" said Rose "Oh, I wanted to be ginger, I've never been ginger!" See also, Donna Noble, Amy Pond and Vincent Van Gogh. I'm going to come right out and say it, this first Christmas special is still the best. Despite spending most of his debut episode asleep, Davey T still managed to make a hell of a first impression. When he was finally revived with a cup of tea he was all over the place, quoting the lion king, throwing satsumas around, fencing in his PJs, although funny, it felt briefly like too much of a departure from Christopher Ecclestone ... that was until he ruthlessly despatched one of the Sycorax and brought down Harriet Jones's government with six words. Take note Thirteen, whoever you may be ... this is how it's done.
34. A Good Man Goes to War
(Series 6, Episode 7)
It may lose a lot of its impetus on the second viewing, as A Good Man Goes to War was all about tying up story threads and divulging massive great revelations, but man oh man, that first viewing was amaaaazing.
33. The Impossible Astronaut / Day of the Moon
(Series 6, Episode 1)
Now this was a belter. After the triumph of series 5, now came the 'difficult second series' for Stephen Moffat who decided to kill the Doctor (I'm not talking regeneration, I'm talking dead in the full sense of the word) in the very first episode. Not content with this, he also introduced us to the Silence - there's something about Aliens in human clothes that's deeply, deeply creepy. This episode would've ranked higher if it hadn't been for the fact that in killing the Doctor, the Moff backed himself into a corner he couldn't quite write himself out of.
32. The Hungry Earth / Cold Blood
(Series 5, Episodes 8 and 9)
I've always really liked these eps. It's ironic that although most of the story takes place underground, the bits set on the surface are the most claustrophobic. The humans left waiting with the injured Silurian had us asking "what would I do?" as they tried to decide whether to kill it or use it as leverage to get their family members back. It was good to see them make the wrong, but arguably the most believable decision. The Silurians themselves are a beautiful bit of design - proper Alien looking Aliens, which is ironic seeing as they are very much not Aliens (that's rather the point). The supporting cast were brilliant too, particularly the young lad who played Elliot.
31. Hide
(Series 7: Part 2, Episode 4)
It’s a good solid story this. The Doctor and Clara team up with a scientist and his physic assistant to find out what's haunting Caliburn House. Though hand-made machines like the one poor Jessica Raine has to wear to communicate with the ghost always look a bit naff, the actual explanation as to what the ghost is, is a corker. I thought Matt Smith was on top form in those bits where the Doctor ventured into the pocket universe to rescue the trapped "ghost" and the ending which turned this episode from a ghost story into a love story was neat. Bravo Neil Cross.
30. New Earth
(Series 2, Episode 1)
This ep is very much a follow up to the one below it on the list (happy coincidence) so maybe scroll down then scroll back up again ... Oh good, you're back! Although the comedy here still came from Cassandra, it was Tennant and Piper who delivered it so brilliantly. After all the laughs and the shimmying up and down lift shafts, the ending in which Cassandra died in the arms of her human self is SO moving. Underrated episode this one, but a classic.
29. The End of the World
(Series 1, Episode 2)
What was Russell T Davies drinking when he came up with Lady Cassandra? A lipstick wearing sheet of skin with a maniacal kidnap plot and a penchant for the musical stylings of Britney Spears. She was FABULOUS! This episode features the first and arguably still the best exploding villain scene and although they spent a lot of it separated, the story cemented the Doctor and Rose's relationship. Yes, yes yes!
28. The Day of the Doctor
(50th Anniversary Special, 2013)
They featured this episode on Gogglebox. As the theme tune started playing, Louis Michaels turned to his parents and in a sinister whisper uttered the words "If you talk during this, I will kill you". I felt the same way. The 50th anniversary special was just so massive! It filled me with joy to see David Tennant back again, to see him with Matt Smith was even better. Billie Piper was a bonus and thankfully, her return was cleverly engineered, without unnecessarily dragging Rose out of that parallel universe again. The War Doctor, so brilliantly teased in the previous episode felt like a momentous creation, that could have only been warranted by such an occasion as special as this and those bits of the time war with the three docs in foreground were GORGEOUS. Even for someone far too young to have been around in the days of Tom Baker, his appearance at the end gave me goosebumps, it was a beautifully poignant nod to the classic series, though I would've so loved a tiny little cameo from Ecclestone. People may sneer at TV as a lesser medium but "great men are forged in fire, it is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame" is poetry! Give it ten years and they'll be teaching Doctor Who in schools.
27. Rose
(Series 1, Episode 1)
An army of shop window dummies intent on taking over the world, a living plastic brain using the London Eye to transmit signals all over the place, adorably aged special FX, blah blah blah, none of that matters. This was the first. The first time we met that mysterious man. The first time he saved someone and the first time someone saved him. The first time that a new generation saw what was inside that little blue box and the moment we decided we were going along for the ride. A piece of history.
26. Mummy on the Orient Express
(Series 8, Episode 8)
Although the name screamed Dinosaurs on a Spaceship/Robot of Sherwood/The Unicorn and the Wasp, this was a genuinely scary, pleasingly neat episode and one of Capaldi's best so far. It worked because of the on screen countdown leading up to each of the Foretold's hits. The tension was palpable and yet I know that I was psychotically excited to see the next victim expire. Bravo to the monster designers on this one, even as an adult, the Foretold is properly terrifying.
25. Father's Day
(Series 1, Episode 8)
We'd all like to think that we'd be deeply imaginative if we were given the keys to a time machine but who among us can honestly say they wouldn't travel back to a point in their own lives, to relive a memory or change one they'd always wished had been different. That's exactly what Rose did in this episode, convincing the Doctor to take her back to the moment her Dad died so she could hold his hand - what a beautiful idea for a sci-fi show. When Rose understandably opts to save her Dad instead, reality starts to tear apart, taking the TARDIS and the Doctor with it. For any ignoramuses who think that Doctor Who's nothing more than a kids show, I point you in the direction of this episode.
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